Mother: I don’t undetstand
Son: it’s not like I want to go I just have go. I just have to.
Mother: but who’s going to be with me? What if they come for me? What if…………
Son: Hush. There’s nothing we can do. I’m sorry I need to leave before your tears kill me, I need to have a steady head.
Okay just take this with you (hands piece of paper and pen) write to me every night; goodbye.
Son: Goodbye.
December 3, 2014 at 1:47 pm
Javaun,
This is very emotive and powerful. I like the way you have focussed on the symbols of objects. Well done.
Targets:
1) Develop this further (plan it first)
2) I think you may have mixed your characters at some point – please proof-read.
It’s nice to see how you are working in Mr Harris’ lessons.